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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Game recognize game..........SLORE

Hey friends out there in Hulp-Land.... I'm back, with another eventful weekend to share with all of you. The weekend consisted of a few things:       B-Rung riding in the very back of my car, late night spangles run, kegs, Rock Chalk, cross dressing dudes, i Hop, slept "A's" bed, two chicks digits (aka phone numbers), dancing, "C" calling me.......twice, crankin' steves, was told I have a "big package", and Jay being in town all weekend. 


Sorry I did not post earlier in the day for yall to enjoy. But I'd like to share my weekend with you as fast/quickly as possible....

FRIDAY- Well, as I am getting ready for the evening... "C" calls me. I told yall she would call. Well, she called and told me she was in the shower, and that the phone was on speaker phone. She says "I'm thinking of you" *wow, can this chick be any more hit or miss, geeze*.... I say "Oh you're thinking of me in the shower huh?" She says "As a matter of fact, yes I am...so I had to hear your voice." We have a super hulp conversation, and I act like a doucher/dick head because apparently thats what she wants from me. Our conversation ends. Now B-Rung decides to drop in to Wichita, along with Jay. So we all meet at my house, do some pre-game drinking, RungO and I finish a entire bottle of wine, plus he finished a fifth of peppermint schnapps. He was drunk, obviously. So-Jay, B-Rung, Steph, Adie, and Dre (both girls I hang out with a lot in Wichita) all go to the usual spot of Heroes, and we have a good night. We grab a table and just more or less hang out.... well the girl who stood me up a few times a few months ago, text me earlier in the evening....I'll call her "Insurance" because she is currently getting license in MY field, thats right....she sucks... I own it. Anyways, I see her we talk, she is awkward but she seems interested.
I have to explain to you, her awkwardness. Now, I get it, so she is probably nervous, but we all know body language and eye contact is very important during conversation. Well this chick, keeps swaying back and froth, looking all over the place. I just wanna tell her to chill the F out, and take a Ritalin pill, and everything will be okay.
So, by this you're wondering how "Insurance" is interested in me, well she was flirting with her verbal communication, but completely uncomfortable with her non-verbal communication (aka body language). Well, that and she became REALLY jealous when I met this random girl at the bar. Thus, here lies another situation.


Now I realize I'm throwing a million different women into this mixture, but at the end of this long ass blog, I'll give a brief explanation of each letter, and the relationship I've had with that person.

Back to the bar....... I'm ordering drinks for "insurance", her friends, and myself. Because I'm a gentleman, and it's what I do. Well this girl comes up to the bar, sits in the seat right next to me, and strikes up a conversation. I'll call her "An". Well, "An" is a super cute chick, and I had a lot of fun talking to her. She was there with a group of friends, so we spoke very shortly but often throughout the night. Each time I was talking to "An", "Insurance" would come up and try to start a conversation or come stand by me at the bar, literally turned her body language on full tilt every time I was talking to "An". It's very flattering, by the end of the night, I end up talking to her, she buys me a drink and I get her number. Job well done, I must say. Everyone I'm there with was explaining to me that "Insurance" 'sucked' and that "An" was cuter and definitely more into me. Hmmmmm I guess sexting, and sending pictures of my pee pee to each will help determine which shall be mine ;) lol. Jooooking......................but seriously.


SATURDAY- Jayden gets me out of my bed in the morning, to go work out. I was NOT looking forward to this at all, but it was something I probably should do more often. After all, I do want to get that "tomfection" going. (Tomfection= the highest physical specimen level a human can reach, thus check out Tommy Gun's bod...no homo)
Well, Jayden and I workout...go get Chipolte, and then watch the KU game. ROCK CHALK, we win....goodbye Nebraska, enjoy getting dominated elsewhere. Suck it.
Webby is out with us tonight, Andy Bartell (some of you remember him I'm sure), so is Derrek, and so is "A" (The girl from the thunder game). We have a bigger group going out tonight. Me and the guys are doing a little pre-gaming at the apartment, and we are waiting on the girls to get over so we can continue to pre-game with them.... The girls call me when they are outside and say:
 Chicks-"Hey Patrick, can you and one of the guys come outside and help us carry one of our drunk friends inside?"
Me- "Yea, is everything okay?" 
Chicks- "Yea, she just randomly showed up and was drunk, and passed out in the car"
Obviously at this point, I'm super annoyed and NOT looking forward to taking care of some drunk bitch. NO BUENO.
As Webby and I head down there we are both anticipating a joke, or the worst outcome- a drunk bitch, that we do not know. Well, we were wrong, the chicks brought us a keg. It was a great surprise, other than the fact that we had to walk it up the three flights of stairs into our apartment, but no biggie we have more beer and free beer. Lovin it.
Our night continues, we go to a Emerssons first, and then head over to....of couse...Heroes. I know, I know we need to go to other bars, but it's just so easy to have fun there. We party, Jaydens on a mission to find me a chick. And this dude is DOING WORK for me. He is grabbing every girl he sees and is introducing them to me, non stop. At one point in the night, my drunk ass stumbles onto the dance floor. I remember seeing this really cute, brown skin, tall girl. So, of course I walk over and start a conversation. Well, I soon find out that this girl, just so happens to be "C's" sister.(I found out through a mutual friend of mine, who was at the bar and knew both sisters).....................................Yea, so I have a million thoughts going through my head, on how I could make a really funny and really bad situation out of this. I contemplate all the different outcomes, and the only one I could think of was: hooking up with "C's" sister. Yea, I'm obviously a pig, whatever. Literally, as I am making this ridiculous decision Jay comes up and grabs me, and introduces me to this cute Hispanic chick. Who we will call "Ez". Well, she is a cutie, and I'm glad my boy did some work for me and introduced me. I'm pleased by this outcome. Long ass story short- I get her number, which has led to her and I texting these past few days!

We leave the bar, all of us hammered. We go to i-Hop, and we all smash on some food, the breakfast at 3 am consisted of this: Cinnamon Pancakes, Chocolate Milk, Coffee, Cross dressing men, Puking, and paying for "A's" meal, sleeping with a girl.
Cinnamon Pancakes- I of course SMASHED three of these myself
Chocolate Milk- I of course ordered this as well
Coffee- I found it strange I was the ONLY one of 10 people who drank it, maybe it's just me....
Cross dressing men- Webby and Jay were HATING this, I think we ended up leaving early due to their behaviors and "tag-team" jokes they were making of these dudes. Not to mention, one of the shemales was literally one of the biggest people I've ever seen in my life.
Puking- Andy, well apparently ol' buddy isn't use to partying, because he didn't eat any of his food, and definitely ended up puking in the i-Hop bathroom. Gross.
        you obviously get that I paid for her meal. Remember, I'm a gentleman.

Well, "A" is driving: Adie, Jay, and myself back to their crib because they didn't want to drive across town to take us home. Fair enough, this is my chance to maybe do some flirting with "A"....finally. Well, everyone passes the F out on each couch in the house. And all that is left...is for me to sleep in "A's" bed. Well, to most dudes that sounds like a gold mine. But apparently for my hulp self, it sounds like a great place to continue to fail lol. Well, we are both laying in bed, talking forever it seems. And the last thing I remember is her putting her feet on me and asking me "are my feet cold?"
              I hate feet, I wasn't cool with it.
SO, I did what I do best-----> pass out mid conversation. Nothing happens, and I didn't accomplish anything. I couldn't even begin to explain what it is we spoke about, or did. I suck.
The List (Thus far)
A- Long time college friend. I've taken her on a few dates over the past year or so, and she always seems to move in another direction.
An- Met this chick last week, super cute. Graduate school student. We shall see
C- Well, the girl I was totally smitten for, and she definitely crushed my pride a bit. Well, I told you she would call me, and I also told you "BITCH, I don't love Lil' Wayne, I love Drake". Which also translates to= I'll get my revenge.
Ez- Super cute Hispanic girl that Jay introduced me to. Her and I have exchanged a few texts each day. Cosmetologist (just like every other girl I meet in Wichita)
Insurance- She has left me hanging, twice, and yet still continues to tell me how "cute" I am and "funny". We shall see
M- good friend of mine, she is also currently attempting to be my 'cupid'
                    I think I've covered the majority of the girls in my life. Idk, let me know if I didn't.



I hope this wasn't too long for yall to read, if it was then fuck off. I don't care what you think......:) haha I'm kidding thanks for reading I'll try to do a better job of posting more often, and a better story for tomorrow. 
 

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