Before I begin with my bitching and hulptified story, I must first warn you of some of the feelings that I may display towards other female encounters from my past experiences. I will do my best to not insult anyone specifically, but rather I will generalize. Why? Because it's easier and makes me sound like a asshole (which you'll understand why I'm foreshadowing that later). I will most definitely ATTEMPT to keep this short.
I'm not "sad" or "crying" or necessarily complaining, about this one particular SLORE. I'm more or less complaining and bitching for every time I've heard the same completely ridiculous bullshit I heard last night, because I've heard it million times over and over again. I'm complaining and bitching for the dudes out there who know what I'm talking about, who have tried to get with a girl, and yet they fall short. I'm complaining and bitching for each person (male or female) who understands how ridiculous we are when it comes to finding a certain chemistry with someone else, the different expectations we have and the idiotic things we justify in order to make ourselves seem right. I'm complaining and bitching, for the cliche saying: "Nice guys finish last". Fuck it, I don't care how much of a hulp I sound like, it's the truth and its complete bullshit.
So, yesterday I had a good day at work, sold some new business and had a all around profitable day. I am on my way home and receive a call from "C", it was her day off so she was calling to see how I was doing, you know the normal meaningless conversation. Well, we decide we should go eat dinner and that I'll be over at her house at 8pm. I leave a little early, due to the weather. Well, it turns out this night was "doomed" from the beginning. The person next to my vehicle could not get their car started, so I of course, help them out and jump it and push it out of the snow. Because I'm a nice guy. I'm freezing, I wore my 'Levi' shoes with NO sole or insulation, therefore I was freeeezing cold. I head over to her crib and get there about 10 minutes late. No biggie, I go to the door ring the door bell. She answers to door so cute like, puts her head around the corner of the door and....
"C"- "your late" (as she grins, with her gorgeous smile)
Me- "My bad, I had to help someone in my parking lot jump their car"
"C"- "Awww, that super sweet of you, then its okay if you're late" (she grabs me by my scarf, pulls me in and kisses me...I walk inside)
She walks toward the back of her house to grab something, this chick is looking fire tonight btw. She's wearing tights (showing her booty off...I was lovin it) and a cute cardigan. Sexy chick. She walks back over to me=
"C"- "here I saw this and thought of you," (as she hands me a Rolling Stones magazine with Lil' Wayne on it)
***BITCH... I don't love Lil' Wayne, I love Drake.... :)***
Me- "well that was nice of you thanks" (I grab her this time, we start to make out...you know what I'm doing.......................feeeeeling on the bootay *cue the R Kelly voice*)
....after a intense make out session....
"C"- "Hey, I wanted to return something at the mall, is it cool if we stop by there on the way."
Me- "yea thats cool, I wanted to eat on the east side anyways"
(shout out to Nick Knapp aka sniper sniper for referring me to PF Changs)
To skip past the vomit-athon and hulp-fest that went down at the mall, aka us looking like a couple, walking around the mall and her holding my arm while we walk, ALL THAT BULLSHIT..I will continue with the real drama at dinner.
We decide on PF Changs, when we walk in she mentions eating at the bar....
Me- "I don't care where we sit, it's really not a big deal"
The Host comes over, and asks us if we have a preference of where we wanted to sit....
"C"- "Well apparently since I'm having to make decisions, we will take a table:
..........bitch move, right? Well, she grabs me and says she was totally kidding.....
We both order, and I tell her to choose a wine, because I would drink Franzia if it was offered to me. I'm a dude I don't give a shit, as long as there in alcohol in it, fuck it. lol. We are eating dinner, talking, flirting, touching, she fed me, she insisted on me trying her food. Now how am I reading anything wrong? I'm a huge exaggerator and a bit of a 'blown-outta proportion' type dude, but you have to understand/realize not a single word of this is misleading or exaggerated. Literally, throughout the course of the meal she told me I was "so cute" at least 4 different times, and that she has never felt so "comfortable" around someone she has only hung out with a few times.
At this point, this is music to my ears, I'm stoked my swag is turned to level 11 (most people only reach level 10, but I'm a lot more awesome than most people ;)..) things are definitely looking 'up' for me. She knows the waitress, again, and has the waitress gives her the check and we have a brief debate over who should pay, she said it was only fair for her to pay.....hmmm red flag? no, she leans over and kisses me on my cheek and says; "It's okay, it's not a big deal to me".................
Ohh about 15 minutes pass and we finish our wine. As I am literally finishing my last drink..this goes down:
"C"- "Soo you're one of the funniest and NICEST guys I've ever met, but I just don't see anything in the future for us..."
.............before you think I'm being obsessive or anything, I totally get that. It's her feeling I can't trip about it, thats cool. BUT what I don't get is why the fuck do you kiss me, tell me how cute I am, hold my arm in the mall, tell me how awesome I am, frequently, throughout the evening. Not to mention every other time we hang out.........stupid SLORE.
Me- "ummm are you being serious?"
"C"- "Yea, I hope you don't hate me"
Me- "Naw, I'm not mad, just completely and utterly confused by where that came from."
"C"- "Don't take it the wrong way"
(*really? how would I not stupid ass SLORE*)
Me- "So how would I not take it the wrong way? that literally is the worst thing you could have said to me, I totally understand that hows you feel, but do you think it was okay to kiss me and tell me I'm cute all the time?"
"C"- "Idk, it just hit me a little bit ago, I just don't think you're aggressive enough for me"
Me- "What?? I wasn't planning on ripping your clothes off and having sex with tonight, I apologize"
"C"- "No, no, no, not the case, it's not necessarily sexual, you are perfectly fine there. I just always felt like I had control, and you never really made any aggressive control moves"
Me- "Whaaat? How what did I not do "aggressively" enough for you, I picked the first place we ate at, and I picked here."
"C"- "I don't know, I just have a feeling"
This shit got REAL awkward, real fast. lol okay think about it, we have about a 10 minute drive home to still embark on and she drops this bullshit on me? No bueno for either one of us, so I say........
Me- "Let's get you home, there is no reason to discuss anything like this in PF Changs"
I throw a huge tip on the table, Idk why....I guess I thought it would make me look like a badass haha.....We get into the vehicle, definitely still some awkward silence going on. I reach into my center console, grab my chew, put a dip in. She has no idea I chew, she kinda just looks at me a little strange... I know I'm sounding hulp, but it felt awesome to do that. She continues to apologize the whole way home, I'm being polite not getting mad...just telling her I understand...because I'm a "NICE GUY". She reinforces that she has a lot of feelings for me, but just didn't see it working. The entire time I was never rude or short, I listened to her bullshit and just kept telling her I understand.
----------------listen trick as SLORE, don't try to make things better by telling me you have "feelings" for me and that you "like" me "a lot". Do you not see/understand how stupid you sound. For the first time in my life, I wanted to punch a girl. Take this with a grain of salt people. I looked at her, while I was driving, as she was talking and I just wanted to slam on the breaks, watch her head hit my glove box, open my door and push her our....then pull a Joey Donatelli and peel Okay, back to reality.
I pull up in front of her house, she tells me she hopes I'm not "mad" at her. I reassure her that I am not, but I'm obviously furious. But more furious at the fact that I've heard the: "you're too good of a friend to date" or "Too nice to be my bf" or "I don't want to hurt you, thats why you can't be my boyfriend" or the typical--> "It's not you...its me"............for anyone of you who have ever said these things. Shoot yo self. For any of you who have heard this, fuck em'. Seriously, look at your friends, lean on them, let them explain to you how you don't need her, how shes a SLORE and a bitch. It doesn't matter if they have met her or not, the fact of the matter is...They're your kin, and they know you better than you know yourself. They understand if you're a "nice" guy, and that good things will come. Thats what I do, I have the greatest group of familia to but some confidence and cockiness back into my life. And they help, they always do. But sometimes friends can only help so much.
----------sorry if I'm boring you, but there is more--------------------------------
I get home, and I'm cool at this point. I talked to Sniper Sniper and Jaydonious just happen to call as well. I'm straight, no big deal.
She texts me this
"C"-----"Good luck with everything, you definitely are one of the most amazing guys I've ever met, Take care"
Criticize this if you'd like but I said this, although I was "too nice" doesn't mean I'll ever change who I am for a stupid SLORE------
Me(via text)- "Ya know, you deserve a dude who is gonna treat you fair and right 'C' that's all I was trying to do....it was more than a pleasure getting to know you though"
this is where I kind of sucked, but it's hard to not show some emotion
Me(via text AGAIN)- "And this will be my last "double text" but I really hope you sweep some dude off his feet, because you're a cool ass chick, sorry I wasn't "aggressive" enough."
"C"- (this part doesnt really make sense to me)-->"You should be happy too! You got a couple free meals out of the deal!"
Me- "I don't give a shit about the meals, I like you and I wanted to try and make something of it, but I guess you want something that I'm not, apparently an asshole....so good luck to you"
......................a few minutes pass by, webby and I play some Call of Duty, she calls
I'll sum this up with one sentence. She basically told me that I wasn't "manly" enough, and that I was a pussy.
Thats all I have to say, its super frustrating when I've been stood up a few times, girls not texting me back, deleting me from facebook, not wanting to hang out, giving me their stupid SLORE ass numbers and not wanting anything, adding me on facebook and sending me messages about how they want to hang out. BUT, nothing, I mean nothing tops being called "NOT MANLY". This is where I will use the 'genitalia reference'. Shutup Cunt, you don't know me. I am THE man, you WILL come crawling back. And when you do, I will treat you like the piece of shit that you are, I refuse to take anymore bullshit from any female that I am interested in. Excuse me to all of my girlfriends reading this, you know I love each and everyone of you and I mean NO offense when I say this. I'm going to be a 'man-whore'. I have always believed in Karma, and I realize if I take this approach on life, it will come back around on me. But I say fuck karma, and fuck the bullshit. I'm gonna do what every girl I've ever met, has done to me.
----------Motto from now on: MANLY/BEAST MODE(click here)
Nobody is worth changing for, you gotta change for yourself. So I can promise you a few things:
1. This blog will get better, and bigger.
2. This weekend is gonna be solid. Jayden is coming out with me this weekend.
3. Great possibility of me smashing this weekend.
4. IF and WHEN "C" comes crawling back, I will answer her phone call, but only with bad intentions.
5. I'll continue to be the "nice-guy" but not until I get a few more notches on my belt.
SORRY FOR SO LONG....shutup and read it...(<----by saying "shutup" it makes me feel more manly, does it work?_lol)