HULP Videos


Thursday, January 13, 2011

Do not be stupid, please.

Alright, I’m trying a few new angles at this whole blog thing. Meaning that I am going to try to keep it less “sporadic” and more structured, …but c’mon hulps, I still have to add some “TomPat” flavor to it! Here goes nothing--- I will refer to a brief story of my weekend, if you readers are truly following my blog you will know/understand that I met a girl named: “C”. Well I had asked her to go on a date Thursday (today), and she said “maybe” because she had a busy week, due to a trip to Florida that she was going on this Friday. I try my hardest to play things cool. And for those of you who know me, you know how difficult it is for me to not blow this chick up via text messaging, so I consult to a few of yall through gChat, to help cool me down with this current situation.  Well a few days go on, keep in mind there is little to no communication between “C“ and I. Well I have been shot down and stood-up a hand full of times within the last few months, not to mention the past year of my life, not complaining just stating the facts. Besides I smashed enough between then to make up for the bullshit they put me through ;). Well, last night I finally decide to CALL her, that is a stretch for me considering I’ve been called the: “Text King” in the past lol. Well I was like a little kid when it came to this, butterflies in my stomach and all. This girl is fire, I wanted to make sure I did everything right; not try to hard, but let her know I’m interested, without having her becoming too overwhelmed. As the phone rings, I recall a time when I was calling a girl for the first time in middle school. Jayden and I were down in the basement at the original crib, on Glendale, and he had a script of the things I needed to say to ask this girl out, and of course I followed that script from the beginning to the last period/question mark. It worked, perfectly.
------Well “C” answers the phone, and from the get-go is was a train wreck. She answers, mid-conversation with someone else, and we both simultaneously say “Hey” at the same time, immediately a awkward conversation. She laughs and says: “that was awkward.” Soooo what do I do? Make it into a joke. I go to the cliché phrase: “that’s what she said…………..” well little to my knowledge she loves ‘The Office’, and loved my joke more. So not quite as HULP as I thought it would have been. Suck it. My heart is racing like a doucher, and I think I’m the man for that split second. After she stops laughing, she immediately goes: “Hey, I’m about to go eat with some friends, can I call you back?”…….Instantly I feel like a moron, but of course, I say “yea, that’s cool….just don’t call back during the KU game, because I wont answer!” Yea, nice save Pat, you're so awesome/baller (I know yall are thinking it) ………….she enjoyed it… the game went by, I had a few near heart attacks (we still won, suck it ISU). An hour passed after the game, I head to bed… I’m obviously becoming completely discouraged and knowing that this chick does not like me.
---BAM! She calls, I become a HULP once again, and ecstatic about the very thought of her calling…like I’ve never had a conversation with a woman on the phone before. Long-story short we talk for about 50 minutes, and it’s a great conversation (aka she fuckin loves me, duh). I learn some more about her, yet she still manages to shoot me down for our “maybe-date” tonight, but I understand because she is leaving for tomorrow. She hates texting, but enjoys phone calls. Better give up “sexting” and start working on my phone-sex.
          I have a strong dislike for dating, and the bullshit that follows it. Dating is like tug-o-war…..each person has their own perception of how one should act, and how that person should approach the early stages of dating (communication). Yet, the other has their own perception and opinion of the communication stages as well, therefore confusion occurs in the masses, questions like: “I don‘t know if she/he likes me” or “Should I call/text her back” things of that nature that seem to never  have a explanation. So it is a never ending cycle of confusion, that is, until the WOMAN decides what it is she wants. Girls give out their numbers out all the time to guys, thinking it means nothing…a lot of guys will act like it means nothing, but in reality it is a prize possession. It means a lot to a dude to get a chicks number, it’s a sort of pride builder and bragging right, if not for themselves for their peers. So women always think they're being "nice" when they give out a number or continue communication with a guy, but in reality most guys just want straight truth/facts about the situation. Do not be stupid, please. Coming from me especially, I have received many numbers from many swamp turkeys, and have had conversations with those same chicks about hanging out, going out, meeting out, partying, just plain ol’ conversation. Well, this is why I become so perturbed with dating, Do. Not. Give. Me. Your. Number. If you are not interested in something with me. Do not ignore a text (not that I don’t get the “hint”, because I definitely do) but have some manners, be polite tell me you’re not interested. It's the fact of the matter. I do not want to play the “dating” game…let me know if you’re interested or not! This is a rant I’ve been complaining about for a while now, it’s something I feel I need to ‘let out’. Oh, and don’t F’n delete me from facebook if you aren’t interested… have some dignity and know that karma will come back on you, bia….suck it slores & swamp turkeys. Hope yall are having a fantastic Thursday…. Some brews could quiet possibly be in my future tonight, maybe yall should do the same.
--One last thing----> Do not be stupid, please.

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